Handprints

I thought about handprints all day today, it seems.  I decided this morning that Isaac is becoming too addicted to Elmo in the mornings, so we would fill our morning with other activities that are just as fun and more interactive.   

So we fingerpainted and made handprints with the paint...

Then after he woke up from his nap and it was time for a diaper change, he found something else in which you can make handprints...

But I also thought about God's handprint today.  To make a long story short, a little over a week ago Isaac started waking up from his nighttime sleep and daytime naps crying and calling out for mommy.  So after a couple of days, we made a doctor's appointment and found out that he had a viral infection and, to say the least, the past week has been very challenging.  Most of the time he has seemed fine -- his normal happy and healthy self -- other than being a little tired.  But other times he's been extremely fussy or clingy in a way he's never been before.  And quite frankly, what seem to be like the ups and downs of this virus are causing my emotions to follow the same pattern.

Since becoming a mom, I've noticed that I am continually dealing more and more with worry.  And while I know that all moms worry about their kids, there's a point where you can be consumed with worry.  And lately, I've gotten to that point.  Over the past week, I've analyzed every odd behavior, every cry, every moment of tiredness to the point that worry consumed my thoughts and I was constantly fearful that something more than a virus was affecting my child -- Is he scared of something?  Is he having night terrors?  Is he just really tired?  Is it just a temper tantrum?  Is he this or is he that?  Is this normal?

I realize that I don't know what the future brings, whether it be sickness or health, safety or harm, happiness or sorrow.  But I think on some level, I want control over those things.  And there comes a point where I have to decide if I'm going to trust God or I'm not.

I serve a God who is Sovereign...truly in control of all things.  And He gave his Son for me.  And here I am, worrying about the life of my own son, holding so tightly to him that I don't surrender him to the very One that created him.  We named our son Isaac after the Isaac in the Old Testament -- the son of promise, a miracle baby.  In many ways, Isaac was a son of promise to us.  So how ironic that I would deal with the same struggle of laying my Isaac down in sacrifice back to the God who calls me to give up everything to follow Christ.

So today after Isaac laid down for his nap, I had a time of weeping and admitting to God that I have dealt with worry and a lack of trust in Him.  And as I thought about this throughout the rest of today, I thought about how God has His handprint on his children.  For those who know Christ, we are sealed for the day of redemption (Ephesians 4:30), no one can snatch us out of his hand (John 10:28), and "He who began a good work in [us] will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ" (Philippians 1:6). 

And tonight I read a passage in Isaiah: "...we are the clay, and you are our potter, we are all the work of your hand." (Isaiah 64:8).  The footnote in my Bible states "Praying for the Power of God: Isaiah is moved to instruct God's people on how to pray for demonstration of God's saving power" (ESV Study Bible).  Isaiah talks about how we all "fade like a leaf" (vs. 6) and how God "acts for those who wait for him" (vs. 4).  I'm so encouraged to think about the mercy and patience that God shows us.  And realizing that I can't control the future for my kids, I'm glad that God is "for" me and helps me overcome the sin that separates me from the peace of knowing God, rather, is in control and loves me (and my children) more than I could ever imagine.  "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28). 

"What then shall we say to these things?  If God is for us, who can be against us?  He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?  Who shall bring any charge against God's elect?  It is God who justifies.  Who is to condemn?  Christ Jesus is the one who died--more than that, who was raised--who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us.

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?  Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?  As it is written, 'For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.'  No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."  (Romans 8:31-39)