Sick days

Today was one of those "Mommy is sick and doesn't feel good" days but doesn't get a "sick day."  Today was one of those "I really wish my mom lived closer and could watch the kids" days.  Sometimes I'm tempted to think that I can't wait until my kids are old enough to take care of themselves (in a matter of speaking) if I need to lay in bed all day.  But that day will come all too soon, so for now...I'll sleep while I can (i.e. while my kids are asleep).  Off to bed!

Christmastime is here

Sometimes I am absolutely sick of this world.  It's Christmastime.  Everything has a sense of wonder and newness as we celebrate Christ -- God himself born into a fallen world.  After a conversation with a friend today, I thought a lot today about the fact that my kids are growing up and I can't protect them from the world.  I've been very fortunate to have pretty easy-going kids.  Kids that have the sweetest, most gentle spirits.  While I can't speak of Gracie yet, Isaac is extremely compliant and obedient.  Yet I know days are coming when I will have to instruct him because of a behavior he learned from another kid.  Or I'll have to correct him on things that he witnesses in the lives of others to perceive as acceptable.  Kids will be mean to him.  And he'll be mean in return.  And something seems tarnished at that point. 

I look at my children and I see such a beautiful, priceless, indescribable innocence.  No, they are not innocent in the fact that they are still sinners by birth because we are sons and daughters of Adam.  And they can throw a fit just like anybody else.  But they have that "newness."  They have a purity that gives you a glimpse of what God intended at the onset of creation.   

Jesus was absolute perfection.  To leave behind the beauty and glory that was rightfully His in the heavenly realms, and enter a fallen, sick, and evil world must have been heartbreaking in and of itself to God as Father.  But to also be Sovereignly aware that, the purpose in the birth of Christ, was the death of Christ, is beyond my comprehension as a mother. 

My responsibility as a Christian mother is to teach my children that we are God's ambassadors in this fallen world.  We act like Christ no matter how we are treated.  We love those who treat us wrongly.  We set the example of Christ in whatever we do. 

No, I by no means want my children to be pushovers...I want them to be able to stand up for themselves.  To be confident children (and one day, adults) who have wisdom and discernment to handle life's battles with grace and confidence.  But I want them to "turn the other cheek" (Matt. 5: 39) and be "slow to become angry" (James 1:19).  But it's a hard dilemma for Christian parents who have to instruct their children to discern that point where both boundaries are met. 

All this to say, I am sick of Satan's attempts to steal, kill, and destroy God's beautiful creation.  I've been on a continual journey lately to a greater understanding of God's seemingly limitless patience.  He sees more than I could ever imagine, and yet He continuously extends His grace and mercy. 

I wish that my children could maintain their innocence throughout the expanse of their time on this earth.  I yearn with all my heart for my son's affectionate cuddles to continue throughout a lifetime...where energetic hugs and kisses await me each morning, and spontaneous hugs are scattered throughout the day.  I want his excitement and laughter over the simplest things to be endless.  I want him to keep playing with toy cars, and play endless hours with a balloon, and color scribbles on paper that he identifies as "airplanes."  And I long for the sweet smiles of my 4-month old to last forever...where even the simplest gaze in her direction merits a smile.  But I know that hard times will come their way.  I know they will get their feelings hurt.  I know they will be angry and wounded by those whom they've called "friends."  I know they will make bad decisions and wrong choices.  I know at some point they will doubt themselves and feel like failures.  They will have regrets.

But I suppose that's what makes the birth of Christ so absolutely beautiful.  He had a secure, unchanging innocence and gave it up to step into a sinful world where temptations and evil lurk around every corner.  Yet he lived a sinless life.  He had confidence in who He was in the Father and, within that confidence, stood for Truth amidst Satan's schemes to destroy Him by discouragement, pain, abandonment, and even death.  But we serve a God who freely gives His grace.  He freely gives His forgiveness.  He freely gave His Son.  He restores that "newness."  Maybe that's why we feel that "magic" of Christmastime.  Even through all the nostalgia and commercialism, there's a hope of better things to come.  God came to us...and God is with us.

And in Him, we can stand firm in Truth, loving this fallen world despite how they treat us.  They didn't see it fit to treat the God of the universe any better when He walked in our shoes, so we consider it an honor to follow in His footsteps.

That's what I want my children to know.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. (Ephesians 6:12-13)

Roomies

Well, as of tonight, Isaac has a roommate!  Gracie has graduated from the bassinet and is officially sleeping in her crib -- sharing a room with her big brother.  And once again she looks extremely tiny, being in such a big bed. 

From bassinet...

...to crib.

It's a bitter sweet thing for me.  On one hand I'm glad to have my room back.  I'm finally able to walk around at night and get ready for bed without worrying about waking my little sleeping beauty.  And because my dear 'ol hubby has been known to snore on occasion, I know she'll probably sleep better being in her own room.  But still...

This sweet little baby was with me every second for 9 months, so I kinda liked that she was right there beside me.  I liked that I could simply lean over and check on her at any moment in the night.  And I suppose the fact that she's no longer in the bassinet in our room simply means that she's getting bigger.  And we've all read the novel on how hard that is for me right now.

But praise the Lord for video monitors!  

Joining in the nightly bedtime ritual of story time...

Isaac seems to like having Gracie as a roomie.  He climbed up on the side of her crib tonight and said, "Goodnight, Gracie" in the sweetest little voice he could muster up.   

She still likes to be swaddled and she still has to sleep on an inclined wedge for reflux.  So we transferred the wedge to the crib, swaddled her up and kissed her goodnight.  Somehow I think she'll do just fine.  Now let's wait and see how Isaac does when 6am rolls around and Gracie's hungry.  :)

Happy girl!

Three months

Gracie turned three months old a couple of weeks ago!  She continues to have the sweetest little spirit -- she still hardly ever cries unless she's hungry, she loves to be cuddled, and offers the sweetest smiles anytime you look at her.  I hold her every chance I get, and most of the time she wants to be held by mommy rather than anyone else.  She's already been labeled a "mama's girl" by my parents.

When I first discovered I was having a girl, I wasn't sure how I felt about it.  Obviously, I would love my baby no matter what.  But I always had in the back of my mind I would have a house full of boys -- as if it were my choice!  Boys are easier, less maintenance...and cheaper throughout the years.  But the moment I met Gracie my heart has felt such a tenderness I have never experienced.  There are obvious differences between having a boy and a girl.  She adds such a delicate presence to our family that you don't see in little boys, who are interested in throwing things across the room to see them crash.  She is such a little "girlie girl" already, with the cutest little whimpers when she cries.  I love the distinction I already see between my two children...each is special and unique, created with differences as God intended. 

She started giggling the day before her three month birthday!  And what merited such a momentous occasion?  Big brother being silly!  I was so thankful the camera was handy and we were able to get most of it on video.  I've been privileged to be the receiver of those giggles a couple of times, but Isaac gets giggles more than anyone else.  She loves her big brother and her face absolutely lights up when he's in sight.  And I'd say he's pretty fond of her as well -- he acts pretty sweet towards his little sister and often talks to her in higher pitched baby voices.

 She's a good sleeper at night and, so far, takes an extended afternoon nap in sync with her big brother's afternoon nap...which allows Mommy to get a good afternoon nap in as well!

She's recently started "playing" -- batting her hands at baby toys and reaching out to grab things.  Her motions are still a little jerky, but she's intentionally reaching for things.  So, of course, Matt and I celebrate by telling her she's the smartest little baby in the whole world!  :)

We love our little girl and feel so blessed to have such wonderful children!  They are as cute as a button and have the sweetest, kindest personalities.  "Thank you, Lord, for the blessings of our children." 

after bathtime