Sick days

Today was one of those "Mommy is sick and doesn't feel good" days but doesn't get a "sick day."  Today was one of those "I really wish my mom lived closer and could watch the kids" days.  Sometimes I'm tempted to think that I can't wait until my kids are old enough to take care of themselves (in a matter of speaking) if I need to lay in bed all day.  But that day will come all too soon, so for now...I'll sleep while I can (i.e. while my kids are asleep).  Off to bed!

Christmastime is here

Sometimes I am absolutely sick of this world.  It's Christmastime.  Everything has a sense of wonder and newness as we celebrate Christ -- God himself born into a fallen world.  After a conversation with a friend today, I thought a lot today about the fact that my kids are growing up and I can't protect them from the world.  I've been very fortunate to have pretty easy-going kids.  Kids that have the sweetest, most gentle spirits.  While I can't speak of Gracie yet, Isaac is extremely compliant and obedient.  Yet I know days are coming when I will have to instruct him because of a behavior he learned from another kid.  Or I'll have to correct him on things that he witnesses in the lives of others to perceive as acceptable.  Kids will be mean to him.  And he'll be mean in return.  And something seems tarnished at that point. 

I look at my children and I see such a beautiful, priceless, indescribable innocence.  No, they are not innocent in the fact that they are still sinners by birth because we are sons and daughters of Adam.  And they can throw a fit just like anybody else.  But they have that "newness."  They have a purity that gives you a glimpse of what God intended at the onset of creation.   

Jesus was absolute perfection.  To leave behind the beauty and glory that was rightfully His in the heavenly realms, and enter a fallen, sick, and evil world must have been heartbreaking in and of itself to God as Father.  But to also be Sovereignly aware that, the purpose in the birth of Christ, was the death of Christ, is beyond my comprehension as a mother. 

My responsibility as a Christian mother is to teach my children that we are God's ambassadors in this fallen world.  We act like Christ no matter how we are treated.  We love those who treat us wrongly.  We set the example of Christ in whatever we do. 

No, I by no means want my children to be pushovers...I want them to be able to stand up for themselves.  To be confident children (and one day, adults) who have wisdom and discernment to handle life's battles with grace and confidence.  But I want them to "turn the other cheek" (Matt. 5: 39) and be "slow to become angry" (James 1:19).  But it's a hard dilemma for Christian parents who have to instruct their children to discern that point where both boundaries are met. 

All this to say, I am sick of Satan's attempts to steal, kill, and destroy God's beautiful creation.  I've been on a continual journey lately to a greater understanding of God's seemingly limitless patience.  He sees more than I could ever imagine, and yet He continuously extends His grace and mercy. 

I wish that my children could maintain their innocence throughout the expanse of their time on this earth.  I yearn with all my heart for my son's affectionate cuddles to continue throughout a lifetime...where energetic hugs and kisses await me each morning, and spontaneous hugs are scattered throughout the day.  I want his excitement and laughter over the simplest things to be endless.  I want him to keep playing with toy cars, and play endless hours with a balloon, and color scribbles on paper that he identifies as "airplanes."  And I long for the sweet smiles of my 4-month old to last forever...where even the simplest gaze in her direction merits a smile.  But I know that hard times will come their way.  I know they will get their feelings hurt.  I know they will be angry and wounded by those whom they've called "friends."  I know they will make bad decisions and wrong choices.  I know at some point they will doubt themselves and feel like failures.  They will have regrets.

But I suppose that's what makes the birth of Christ so absolutely beautiful.  He had a secure, unchanging innocence and gave it up to step into a sinful world where temptations and evil lurk around every corner.  Yet he lived a sinless life.  He had confidence in who He was in the Father and, within that confidence, stood for Truth amidst Satan's schemes to destroy Him by discouragement, pain, abandonment, and even death.  But we serve a God who freely gives His grace.  He freely gives His forgiveness.  He freely gave His Son.  He restores that "newness."  Maybe that's why we feel that "magic" of Christmastime.  Even through all the nostalgia and commercialism, there's a hope of better things to come.  God came to us...and God is with us.

And in Him, we can stand firm in Truth, loving this fallen world despite how they treat us.  They didn't see it fit to treat the God of the universe any better when He walked in our shoes, so we consider it an honor to follow in His footsteps.

That's what I want my children to know.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. (Ephesians 6:12-13)

Roomies

Well, as of tonight, Isaac has a roommate!  Gracie has graduated from the bassinet and is officially sleeping in her crib -- sharing a room with her big brother.  And once again she looks extremely tiny, being in such a big bed. 

From bassinet...

...to crib.

It's a bitter sweet thing for me.  On one hand I'm glad to have my room back.  I'm finally able to walk around at night and get ready for bed without worrying about waking my little sleeping beauty.  And because my dear 'ol hubby has been known to snore on occasion, I know she'll probably sleep better being in her own room.  But still...

This sweet little baby was with me every second for 9 months, so I kinda liked that she was right there beside me.  I liked that I could simply lean over and check on her at any moment in the night.  And I suppose the fact that she's no longer in the bassinet in our room simply means that she's getting bigger.  And we've all read the novel on how hard that is for me right now.

But praise the Lord for video monitors!  

Joining in the nightly bedtime ritual of story time...

Isaac seems to like having Gracie as a roomie.  He climbed up on the side of her crib tonight and said, "Goodnight, Gracie" in the sweetest little voice he could muster up.   

She still likes to be swaddled and she still has to sleep on an inclined wedge for reflux.  So we transferred the wedge to the crib, swaddled her up and kissed her goodnight.  Somehow I think she'll do just fine.  Now let's wait and see how Isaac does when 6am rolls around and Gracie's hungry.  :)

Happy girl!

Three months

Gracie turned three months old a couple of weeks ago!  She continues to have the sweetest little spirit -- she still hardly ever cries unless she's hungry, she loves to be cuddled, and offers the sweetest smiles anytime you look at her.  I hold her every chance I get, and most of the time she wants to be held by mommy rather than anyone else.  She's already been labeled a "mama's girl" by my parents.

When I first discovered I was having a girl, I wasn't sure how I felt about it.  Obviously, I would love my baby no matter what.  But I always had in the back of my mind I would have a house full of boys -- as if it were my choice!  Boys are easier, less maintenance...and cheaper throughout the years.  But the moment I met Gracie my heart has felt such a tenderness I have never experienced.  There are obvious differences between having a boy and a girl.  She adds such a delicate presence to our family that you don't see in little boys, who are interested in throwing things across the room to see them crash.  She is such a little "girlie girl" already, with the cutest little whimpers when she cries.  I love the distinction I already see between my two children...each is special and unique, created with differences as God intended. 

She started giggling the day before her three month birthday!  And what merited such a momentous occasion?  Big brother being silly!  I was so thankful the camera was handy and we were able to get most of it on video.  I've been privileged to be the receiver of those giggles a couple of times, but Isaac gets giggles more than anyone else.  She loves her big brother and her face absolutely lights up when he's in sight.  And I'd say he's pretty fond of her as well -- he acts pretty sweet towards his little sister and often talks to her in higher pitched baby voices.

 She's a good sleeper at night and, so far, takes an extended afternoon nap in sync with her big brother's afternoon nap...which allows Mommy to get a good afternoon nap in as well!

She's recently started "playing" -- batting her hands at baby toys and reaching out to grab things.  Her motions are still a little jerky, but she's intentionally reaching for things.  So, of course, Matt and I celebrate by telling her she's the smartest little baby in the whole world!  :)

We love our little girl and feel so blessed to have such wonderful children!  They are as cute as a button and have the sweetest, kindest personalities.  "Thank you, Lord, for the blessings of our children." 

after bathtime

Thanksgiving

I am so thankful to have married into such a wonderful family!  They're the kind of people that make you feel instantly welcomed...as if you've always been a part of their family.  And they're a family that values time together.  

We spent Thanksgiving day at Matt's grandparents' house and had such a great time!  I don't remember the last time we were all able to make it to the Thanksgiving Day get-together.

Our little family--Thanksgiving 2010

 It was so nice having the entire family together in one place, with the exception of a few missing -- a cousin (Randy) stationed overseas for the military, his kids, and the fiance of Matt's cousin Rachel.  I love my husband's family and this Thanksgiving I was truly thankful to have time spent with them.  We don't get to see each other very often and I often wish we all lived closer together.  But nonetheless, these are definitely times to cherish...

Of course there was tons of great food!  But we all know great food isn't complete without great desserts!

Matt eating the coveted chocolate pretzel sticks...before the meal!

Gracie got lots of cuddles, which she thoroughly enjoyed....

With Aunt Noelle and soon-to-be Uncle Johnathan

Sitting with Uncle Johnathan

Still happy with Uncle Johnathan

With Gigi and Aunt Noelle

Aunt Noelle has a comfy lap for napping...

...and so does Mema!

Isaac had fun with Taylor, Rachel's daughter.  Hard to believe that Taylor was three years old when she was the flower girl in our wedding.  Now she's eight!

Getting "fish" out of the pond...

...which were actually a bunch of leaves.  :)

Roller skating in Taylor's skates

A little help from Mommy

What's Thanksgiving without watching football???

Uncle Tim and Johnathan

Matt, Isaac, and Gracie

Me and Isaac

Isaac had the most fun with Papa (Matt's dad).  Papa had quite the opportunity to work off his Thanksgiving meal, to say the least.

 

He really made Isaac's day when he gave Isaac his old football helmet from his pee-wee football days.  Isaac is obsessed with football helmets at this point, so needless to say it was pretty much on his head for the rest of the day...and has been ever since.

Isaac and Gracie with Papa and Gigi...

Four generations...
The men

Isaac, Papa, Matt, Papa Lloyd

Taylor, Mema, Rachel, Aunt Jenyne

 The women

Time

A couple of nights ago I was looking through pictures on our camera, organizing them on the computer, and I realized that I have done exactly what I said I wouldn't do.  I've taken fewer pictures of Gracie than I did of Isaac.  Not intentionally, by any means.  But just as I've been told, I'm finding that it really is harder, having a toddler running around, to capture every priceless little moment of your second child -- just as you did for the first.

Gracie will be 3 months old this week and I have absolutely NO idea where the time has gone.  And suddenly, I feel a sense of urgency to capture everything possible on camera.  She is such a precious addition to our family and quite frankly, the most beautiful little girl I have ever seen!  (I realize I'm biased, but just look at this face!)

What is it about time that makes us so fearful?  Or what do I hate so much about time?  Good things can come with time.  Healing.  Growth.  Improvement.  But still yet, it feels like my greatest enemy as a mother.  It just goes by so fast! 

I know that we are sinners in need of grace, created for God's glory.  And our job as parents is to help our children grow up -- to be God-fearing, God-honoring adults who serve God with all their heart, mind, soul, and strength, and take His Gospel to the nations.  So as a mother who understands this, why is it so hard knowing my babies will grow up?

Maybe it's the innocence that we see in our children.  Their endless excitement over the simplest things.  Their crocodile tears that stop with mommy's cuddles.  The fascination we see in their eyes when they are learning something new.  The sparkle in their eyes or the sweet, soft pitch of their voices.  

A friend stated it well when she said, "I wish I could capture every smile, every giggle, and every cuddle...and keep it forever."  Oh, what I would do to freeze time!  I would hold them and rub their smooth, soft skin.  I would stare at them forever and burn into my memory every soft curve of their faces, their long eyelashes, button noses, porcelain skin, and the color of their lips.  I would smile at my baby and watch her face light up.  I would talk to my son and listen to his adorable pronunciation of words.  I would rock them and sing songs at bedtime.  I would play until my heart's content -- I would color, and tickle, and chase, and continuously rebuild a train set, and make pancakes out of play-doh.  And while I have these moments now with my children, they'll be over all too quickly and this week has been another realization of that.  Time just goes by way too fast.

Football and Patriotism

This morning I had the radio on to the local radio station, and every morning before the morning show the National Anthem is played.  Isaac suddenly stopped playing, looked at the radio and said, "Football...(pause)...Helmet...(pause)...Go Broncos!"  Well, at least we can instill some patriotism in him by way of Friday Night Lights in west Texas.  :)

Saluting the flag during the National Anthem at a high school football game

"Trick-or-Treat"

We took Isaac trick-or-treating this year for the first time.  Our small west Texas town blocks off the streets of a certain area that's the hot spot for acquiring sugar-loaded goodies.  So we dressed the kids in their costumes, loaded up the strollers and made our way around the neighborhood. 



Our sweet little lamb.





Buzz Lightyear!

 Isaac loved all the free candy, to say the least.  When given the opportunity to pick out the candy he wanted, needless to say he was a "natural" -- studying the bowl of candy intently and picking out as many tootsie rolls and mini tootsie roll suckers as possible until those dreaded words..."Okay, say 'Thank you'," implying it was time to go.

I loved hearing Isaac say "trick or treat" in his cute little toddler voice.  He didn't exactly grasp the concept of the phrase this year, but he was quite the polite little guy...
Me: "What do you say?"
Isaac: "Please."
Me: "Say 'trick or treat'." 
Isaac: "Trick or treat." 

Gracie was such a good sport.  She was the cutest little lamb I've ever seen and quite a big hit with friends and acquaintances.  The highlight, though, was a little girl who came up to Gracie and said, "Oh, how cute!  A little poodle!"

For a gal who once wanted to live in a big city, I have grown to love small town life!  Especially our quaint little town.  It's a pretty special little town and I loved walking along the streets visiting houses of friends who have grown to be like family to us.

We saw just about everyone we knew with small children.  Not to mention, the ocassional teenager with a backpack full of toilet paper, ready to hit the next target (which is an accepted town-wide ritual among young people on Halloween).  Where else in the world could you wrap a police car in toilet paper and not get in trouble?

Trick-or-treating is hard work!

 What a fun night!