One month!

My baby girl is one month old tomorrow!  I can't believe how fast the time has gone.  It is definitely exhausting having two kids.  I'm getting used to the fact that my house is no longer clean like I prefer it to be.  We visited family last week in Oklahoma and our suitcases are still sitting by the door, unpacked.  But I am so incredibly thankful for the little blessings that God has given us.  Our children are such a joy!  And even though it's easy to think back to the pre-baby days when I could sleep in until noon on Saturday, I absolutely could not imagine our life without them.

However, the last month has been a difficult adjustment in the fact that I can't spend as much time with each of my children individually as I would like.  When Isaac was first born, I could cuddle and hold him to my heart's content.  And before Gracie was born, I could play with him all day if I chose to.  But since Gracie's arrival, it's proven to be a very hard transition...I can't sit and hold my baby girl, cherishing this time with her without continuously checking on my toddler.  And I can't play all day with Isaac or show him undivided attention now.  But sometimes I wonder if they really notice the difference...maybe it's just harder on Mommy than it is for them due to the fact that I know this time with them is so limited.  They're only this little for so long and each stage is such an adventure.

Another difficult adjustment has been having little to no time for myself or for the things I want to accomplish.  Gracie is changing so much every day and Isaac is doing the cutest things these days.  And I keep saying, I'm going to get the video camera out and capture all those cute things that Isaac does or says.  And I'm going to take this or that picture of Gracie.  And before I know it, a week has gone by!  No wonder numerous people have told me they took fewer pictures and videos of each new kid!  I've enjoyed writing on this blog as a way to record some of my favorite memories for this stage of our life.  But it's been two weeks since I've written and I find myself getting frustrated that I haven't had a chance to sit and record the things I want to remember.  What is it about a mother's heart that wants so deeply to hold on to every moment when it comes to her children?  If time can't be frozen, at least video or pictures help freeze the memories.

But even though I'm exhausted and there doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day, God always has a way of presenting us with the proper perspective.  A few nights ago I was on my way back home from running an errand, and I turned the corner by our house and noticed the upstairs lights of our neighbor's house were on.  Our neighbors have three great kids...two away at college and an eleventh grade son, and their rooms are all upstairs.  And suddenly, I realized that all too quickly my kids will be teenagers and they'll want to spend time in their rooms at night.  And I'll have all too much time to myself.  Time alone is still a good thing, and quite necessary for sanity's sake.  But amidst the exhaustion that comes with a newborn, these are definitely moments to be appreciated.